6 Signs You're Talking to a Technology Fundamentalist

Have you ever engaged in a discussion/argument with someone who (despite your cogent arguments!) simply can't be moved off of their position? Chances are, you're dealing with a fundamentalist. These discussions are, in the truest sense, a complete waste of time. So how can you avoid them? By learning to recognize the signs you're dealing with a techie fundamentalist.

Sign 1. They can't entertain an opposing point of view. One of the great draws of fundamentalism is the promised escape from the inherent limits in being human. Being human means being limited, often being wrong, unable to determine absolute truth -- just those things that we humans don't like so much. But all attempts to circumvent these limitations have, to date, proven nothing but self-delusion.

A mark of humility is the understanding that, however strongly we may feel or believe something, we may very well be wrong (unless you're Zaphod Beeblebrox, in which case you can confidently aver that you're the most important person in the universe), humility is actually very appropriate. That kind of openness is also a mark of intelligence. As F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." Here's a fun and perhaps eye-opening experiment: try debating a topic you feel passionately about from the other person's point of view. Give it your best. Whenever I've done it, I always find that I learn something.

Sign 2. They know the answer...before they hear the question. Having a tough time on a project? You didn't use TDD. Or BDD. Or Agile. Or Whatever. No wonder, you're using Windows. No wonder, you're notusing Rails/Python/Objective C.

Life is complicated. Solutions are often not clear or may, at best, be partial. "Knowing" the answer immediately doesn't mark us as smart; it reveals us to be small-minded.

Sign 3. They overlook flaws in their preferred technology that they would be quick to criticize in others. Mea culpa. I love Apple products. So, when the Supreme Commander decides that getting your app into the App store involves a process that would make Byzantines swell with pride...well, that's OK.

Only, it's not.

Here's a helpful way out of the quicksand of this kind of fanboism: how would you feel about x if x was being done by the bad guys? Following my Apple example, if Bill Gates had implemented some of the policies that Steve Jobs has, would I be so quick to give Gates a pass? No? Then I shouldn't with Jobs. (Warning: this will definitely not make you popular within the fundamentalist community!

Sign 4. They can't imagine any new information that would make them change their mind. You know that Google is officially evil now, right? No? Well, I read that in a tweet, so there you have it. Case closed.

The reason no new information can change the fundamentalist's mind is that it wasn't information that made up their mind in the first place. Have you ever listened to someone dead-set against something about which you know a bit seek to dissuade you? It's clear they have no real understanding of the evidence for (and against) the idea. Trying to introduce new evidence (as in "evidence they aren't aware of") has little chance of changing anyone's mind. An old saw has it like this: "A man convinced against his will / is of the same opinion still."

Sign 5. They find people with opposite beliefs odious. They're not just mistaken; they're evil. It follows, therefor, that anything they do must be evil.

• Ah, those rotten Republicans -- always spoiling for a return to National Socialism.
• Democrats? Communists, you mean -- set to overthrow this great country.
• What -- you use ColdFusion? What a moron? Everyone knows node.js is the only way to write code.
• PLEASE -- don't tell me you're using tables in your design? Hello -- ever heard of a little thing called CSS?
• The Agile community is where all the scamsters from the last failed fad have migrated to.
• IDEs are for IDIots.

One doesn't need to be an astute student of history to know that demonizing opponents leads to truly awful results. In 1821, Heinrich Heine, the German poet and playwright, wrote this chillingly prophetic line: Where they burn books, they will ultimately also burn people.

Sign 6. They get their beliefs from an authority. How do I know that x is true? Because y told me, that's how. Because I read it in a blog. Because Joel Spolsky said so. (Feel free to substitute DHH, Uncle Bob, etc.)

Being smart or well-spoken is not the same as being right. Clever reasoning doesn't make us right. One of the greatest of thinkers, Aristotle, based on solid logic, explained that heavy bodies had to fall faster than lighter ones. It wasn't until the 1500's -- some 1800 years after Aristotle -- that someone challenged this universally-accepted wisdom.

So, there you have it: your own Fundamentalist Early Warning System. Of course, it's not infallible; it's been known to give off false positives. Why, just the other day, while I was sitting alone thinking about a ridiculous blog post I'd read, the thing went off!